The cycle continues. I live in a dream. Ideas coming into and disappearing from focus. Evaporation on the surface of a purple lake, where life and death re-enact. And the cycle continues. etc.

: All Today. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841 mm

A Text to Self Before Sleep/ An Aim for Tomorrow

Self-Affirmation is key to understanding the world. It is key/central to ideas we convey to ourselves and to others. It is the Truth, the Way and the Answer. I know this is a parody of religion, but, hey, we have to find our meaning somehow. I live in the moment. Adding moments, I collect and translate them into meaning for me and you. We can use this to learn to be ourselves. True and meaningful. Complete human beings. Truth and Light. Word and Thought. Live and Charged – Real !

I can say goodnight now and wake with intention to complete the chores presented tomorrow, of which I shall cherish. See you at the Hospital, mended.

Today I met with two friends. They made me think about how lucky I am to have them. We spoke of perspective and added to our lives, given ideas. We exchanged sentiments and learned a wee bit about this place in which we live. The tone was relaxed and reciprocated. I am joyed to have friends like these, secure, knowing that not everyone does. Am I sentimental? Yes. It’s hard not to be when we are in company of such people as these. Then home to my love

The conversation will continue in my work tomorrow which I shall post on here. Wake well my friends

Self Deception and the Forge…….25/7/18

Fuck this shit. Im out of here. Why does anyone do anything? Conjecture. Anonymous posturing and denial. Truth, religion, belief. It all doesn’t matter. What we believe is what we believe and anything else in between is just an exploration. Nietzsche writes of truth and religion as a sort of falsity. When the truth is we all struggle with what we think of as real. We all doubt if we are right or wrong. With his Will to Power, I think he is trying to chase an impossible dream, to free one’s self of doubt and pain. The truth, I think I, is that we all struggle with these things, and whether we find peace in religion or philosophy, the end result is the same. We find answers. He criticises religion by saying it is nothing but self-deception. Or does he? : In belief we are fulfilled. We have hit a quandary. If I will it, does it exist? If I commit to it, is it not truth? Worship your God, believe in your Father. Or simply be equal to your Brother. Whatever it is you think, whatever you believe, whatever brings you meaning, is you and is Truth. Is God real? That is not for me to say, for who am I to say which life is right or wrong? I cannot. I just believe my own mind, my own feelings. I myself form the tools I hold, and in making me, I make you. The way forward is unclear but it is always forming, as we form ourselves. The Forge is calling….I must return to my studies.

The Forge is a place of creation. The Forge is a place of sanctuary. The Forge is a place of recognition, where we see ourselves. Where the self we see is seen by others.

In this space I step forward into your life with the intention of creating a new future, one in which the Truth is seen. Where we are ourselves, where we believe in one another. Beyond this, on the horizon, where the sun sets, in the late summer I touch the light around me.

In this I attempt to awaken and stir. I want to prove myself and I want to leave an imprint. I want to take the hand of my Brother, strongly and gently. Death is inevitable as is life. Where the future is the only way forward, is the only thing that cannot be denied.  Conjecture and hypotheses. I look up to the sky and see myself reflected there. I weep for my non liberated brothers as I reach out to them with the promise of a new road……a road of trepidation but of truth. We forge our own truth; I just want to hand you the strength to build it. That is all for now.

I want to continue, but for no one's benefit but my own. To clarify my intention. I rise to my feet and meet every new challenge, refreshed by meeting the moment head on. Stronger because I recognised myself the whole way through it. Stronger because I did it myself. The “I” I have become grows from a genesis of feathers. Of blooming beauty. I meet others there, in the moment of real, recognising the Other and enjoying the perspective brought forth from the place of freedom. We meet there and smile. The Summer Sun is low in the sky…and I continue to seek out the meaning only another can bring

I meet the light you shine, and I see it. I can assure you…..Infinitely echoing through time. An atom in the Universe. A person in the sea. A wind in the forest. A truth in the heart and mind. A force of liberation. I live

: Whatever, Boo. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

Being

Whenever we have a problem we try to resolve it. My Art explores Schizophrenia and an attempt to understand it, and attempt to solve the problems it poses. Faces Seen in a Clozapine Dream: The Good, The Bad and The Schizophrenic. This is human because everyone is a little schizophrenic. It is a spectrum disorder. In my attempt to understand it and other people has been the focus of my work. And expressing this has been the result. I don’t want to talk too much about the negative aspects of being Schizophrenic, I want to explore myself and other people, spotting similarities and connecting. The work is an attempt to connect. It is an expression. Expressing is something we do every day, every minute, and is central to what it means to be human. It is the link between the internal world and the external world. It makes us happy; it makes us sad and everything in between. Without expressing, we would not be meaningful to someone (one’s self, or others). It is central to Being. Being is huge. In many respects. I am a Being. You are a Being. We are Being. I try to convey my Being in my Art. And I find this cathartic as well as hugely satisfying. In my explorations the Being I am has grown and my understanding of Being has grown also. I have learned how to be me. What I want to know, the direction in which I am going and what I do not want to know. To understand what is important to me, what is not, and how to use this pragmatically. Being me is not easy, but as the old adage goes “Anything worthwhile never comes easy”. I am worthwhile. The challenges I face make me me and more me. Being grows….

So the explorations I experience build, mold, create Art. Which I convey to you. I invite you to become more of a being through knowing Being in my work.  In being interconnected with other Beings. I express my Being for your assimilation, so you too can Be. I invite you to explore what is important to you, to know my work and to understand or simply feel through which you will know something real to you. To react. At the point of reaction in which you exist I want to bring forward your Being. What is Being in this sense? Being in this sense is a multitude of things. Some of which conscious, some of which unconscious. Some of which understandable, some of which need a little more work. But one would hope, always with a sense of who-you-are-ness. We go forward knowing ourselves and through interacting with the things around us, we gain an understanding of ourselves. And what more unique, what more inspiring than Art? A direct line to someone else’s who-you-are-ness. Thus I hope to grow. To add relevance to my life and through that engage with the world of Others more completely and to add to the understanding of the world around me and to add to my understanding of myself through this process.

I put forward my Art. I birth it into existence. We share. We know, yet we are ignorant to so much. To know oneself is the only truth.  To which we bring meaning in the action of Being. Be with Me….Continue, be inspired, and never, ever, give up. I leave you with a heightened sense of Being

Me and you on a street. I cross the road to speak to you. You recognize me but do not know who I am. I say hello and you reply. I never knew you in this sense before. Yet I know you now. I forget so much but I remember the time we spent as children and how you used to make me laugh. I am a different person now and the experiences I have had have shaped me. I am different, but the same as you. I grew in a particular direction and became me just like your experiences have shaped you. I want to reject knowing the inner you and concentrate on my own self now. Maybe knowing you will become more relevant to me one day and we will pick up from where we left off. I gave you life, you acknowledged it  with a smile, went on your way with a happy sentiment in your heart. That was your experience. That is what you grew into. That is You.

When I crossed the road I had an aim in mind. To say hello. But that thought changed from an inclination into a full on experience. The road became a vehicle to which I attached meaning, and through that meaning the world made sense. The road now poses a different significance to which you will attach your own central belief. Experience of this sort becomes the farther down the road we go. We choose the road, and we choose where to cross. Put some flowers on the road, why not?

I must return to my studies…..i leave you with an added sense of direction.

Please enjoy my work ;) x

: In Blue. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

: Never Through. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

: Said Boo. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

: Dangerous. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

: Be You. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841mm

: 2. Oil on Card. A1 594 x 841 mm

: Annoyed at Boo. Oil on Canvas. Not sure of the size of this one...Sorry x

I am happy in my assumed ignorace

: Played with You. Oil on Card. A2 420 x 594mm. 

: Said Hugh. Oil on Card. A2  420 x 594mm. I guess this is what you call a polymorphous metaphor. It changes every time you look at it. You think you are making sense of it then it changes to something else. But i'll let you make up your own mind about that !